Acceptance and forgotten knowledge
#homanart #firepainting #fireart
HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!!#Fuckyea2018
I got back to the studio on Tuesday after a couple of weeks of getting much needed R&R for my pain. It's so good to be back painting and getting my hands dirty. For me, there's nothing quite like having layers and layers of paint from my fingertips to my elbows and to sit with my paintings, finished and unfinished, or not even started at all. When I open my studio door I'm greeted with the aroma of linseed oil, turps, and that wonderful, indescribable smell of paint. It's home to me. It calms my soul. It is also one of the only things that keep me sane, even if I can't stand up straight I’ll always have my art. I was admittedly, apprehensive to go back painting after the Christmas break. I have a habit of overthinking everything and got myself into a spiral of 'what if's', 'buts' and 'hows'. To drown my thoughts out I decided to finish my current painting which has been in the making for the last three months. It is based on water, the movement and depth it, (like the last few paintings I have done.) At some stage during this painting, I got lost in it and part of me came out in it. I'm not sure what part, emotion, or expression that is, I'm not even sure if it can be seen by anyone else but me. Since I have accepted the fact that I live with chronic pain (12 procedures and 2 invasive surgeries later) and will for the rest of my life, I have become a different person, dare I say I have never been happier. There is so much liberation to owning your own body, to longer be examed, cut open, or jabbed by countless needles and lasers... to accept. Maybe all of this has come through and is on show. I have also started to look at things differently, to look at things from a different angle or perspective, something we are always taught in art college but for some reason, I completely forgot how to. I turned my painting upside down and saw a different piece. With this revised thinking, I have worked into it and think I am finished, for now at least! What do you think